Dystopia to Utopia?
My inspiration, my fuel for the fire, my reason to call my latest project: ‘Dystopia Mode’
Fellow music lovers and kindred spirits of the vast online world, on my Instagram page I’ve mentioned the E.P. that’s releasing in January. Well, I think it would be a great time to write more on that project to shed some light on this dark E.P. of mine. It’s such a cultivation of years of work. The feature track on the E.P. was produced in 2020! and then the last feature track was written in 2023! The perfect embodiment of my growth and evolution as an artist over these past few years.
As a creative, I've always perceived myself as an artist wearing many different hats that’s wandering through the sonic landscape of life.
I’ve always felt like an outsider peering into the heart of the music world, the drawing and painting world, even the graphic design and media production world, I was like more of an observer than a performer. Always comparing myself to my peers seeing how I sized up.
I stood before a seemingly infinite valley consumed in confusion, filled with an undercurrent of my own pain and insecurities. What’s the point of creating if everyone around me is doing it better than me? Or let me rephrase that like I have lately, what’s the point of creating if everyone around me is different than me?
Because the more individuals in the creative world, the better the creative world is!
I finally have whole heartedly accepted that being different is a good thing.
Haha, only took me around 25 years to get there, but I’ll take it!
I’ve got plenty of life to live as a performer who doesn’t compare themselves to others. Just an artist that’s doing their thing, enjoying life and pushing myself as far as I can go.
This valley of darkness can be heard in my first three tracks of the project. Dystopia in the connotation of these songs, is a picture of a world gone wrong internally. A mind governed by fear and pride. A lost soul like I used to feel, an inner turmoil that we all feel.
I have an intro track titled ‘Journeyman’ because I’ve felt like such a follower my whole life drifting from one thing to the next. Not quite knowing what I wanted to do until I stumbled across producing electronic music. I felt called to embark on a journey of creativity exploring new boundaries of music production.
Little did I know that this journey would have been met with so much fear, so much doubt. Just like my childhood, I was sucked into comparison mode. There’s so much vanity, I don’t know who’s real or not, I’m just out here trying to write my story and all I feel like is nobody wants to hear my story.
This is why the next track is called ‘Dystopia Mode’ because I feel governed by own insecurities and need for validation that I get stuck in a dark place sometimes. But in music, there are different modes in a song’s key and even without changing a minor key that sounds sad and dark, we can easily go to a happy place. I feel like I get sucked into this darkness when creating music if I’m in a certain mood while creating. It’s my therapeutic escape after all, so if it’s been a long day, or week, or I’m channeling some childhood trauma, then I’m gonna be making some dark shit! It is what it is! But I can use music theory to my advantage and keep a positive uplifting vibe while traversing through my dystopian valley if I use a mode that’s more of a positive vibe. So I tried implementing some more of my classical inspirations into this track to explore these insecurities of mine.
After that track I have a short interlude called ‘Fear & Pride’ because the second that I feel either of those two things, my creativity hits a wall. It’s important to tell the story about how every day is a new challenge and ever day I need to face my fears. I become imprisoned by the shackles of my own self-doubt and on the opposite side of the spectrum I get blinded by my over confidence and ego.
If I stay centered and grounded, create from a place in my heart, then I create music with a divine touch that I know can make people feel something inspiring. That’s how we reach the last three tracks in the project. I essentially told myself it’s time to escape these self-induced toxic thought patterns and I wrote the song ‘Let’s Run Away’; a song about my personal triumph when I found my purpose and reached new personal heights. I can now spread my creative works with the perfect balance of humility and confidence and whenever I need to face those doubts again, I meet them with more strength each time.
This is why my next interlude is called ‘Finding Atlantis’ it’s like I finally made it after essentially what’s been a 4 year journey of failing and growing.
Thanks to all the lessons that I’ve learned, I’m the most connected with my higher self than I’ve ever been. I’m tuned in and I’m ready to create some fresh music that world has never heard before. Since writing the Let’s Run Away track, I’ve learned guitar and have been so proud of myself learning other new skills to be able to create content, so I’ve reached a personal sort of 'Utopia Mode', where I feel pure bliss and joy putting together my craft.
I actually recorded guitar on that project so it was so awesome being able to tie together my rock influences with EDM. This musical odyssey that I’m so excited to share is essentially my coming out story. The culmination of schooling, practicing, living and now, sharing.
I’m coming out to the world as an unapologetically dorky yet edgy artist embodying the divine creative power that I stream from.
Because I have been attuned through this musical odyssey of mine, I feel like I’m on top of the world and I’m ready to conquer any other challenges that the world might bring.
I have my tools sharpened and ready to take on whatever obstacles that need resolving.
The guides will take care of everything, and I’m just here making music and serving my community as a tennis coach.
I just keep my head down and try to do the best that I can so that I don’t mess up this world any more than it already is.
I search for my own moments of bliss, of utopia so that I can offer moments of bliss to anyone that I encounter on this musical odyssey.
As I will keep saying time and time again, music has been my ally, my friend, my therapeutic recourse. It has been the conduit that has helped me shed the shackles of fear and pride. Admittedly, I have often been blocked in the labyrinth of my own thoughts. And in the past with my music, I’d obsess about too many details, I’d worry about what others would think, I’d be too scared to share, I’d be embarrassed about how it wasn’t mixed or mastered professionally. And with the 'Dystopia Mode E.P.', I aim to topple this fear of being unworthy.
My goal is to let my true colors bleed into my music, untethered by the chains of self-doubt.
I’m going to challenge my sense of “deservingness” or “unwillingness”.
I’ll walk the tightrope that needs to be walked along as an artist.
I am striving to maintain my image among this messed up industry, while adhering to my principles of humility and growth.
In navigating this dichotomy, I am reminded that remaining humble is key in my musical odyssey.
If we are being honest, which is seemingly rare these days; among this vast sea of knowledge, I know nothing.
I’m simply one man armed with merely music and my voice.
I see so much potential for growth and change in the form of self-internal work on a micro, individualistic level. We can start to change things on a much bigger level when we look at ourselves in the mirror and say we are enough, we are capable of anything, we are whole and loving and compassionate, we are deserving of love and have all of the support and uplifting energy that we need.
It’s after we see the beauty in ourselves that we can see it in everyone else too.
I know that I’m human and I will fall short many times on this path.
I just want to be sure that I fall with grace, and I get up with strength and perseverance.
Just as I would wish this for myself, I want you all to push through life, accepting the shortcomings and celebrating the victories.
I want to learn continually, and continually strive for growth.
Discomfort is growth, so I’m literally preparing myself for a life of vulnerability.
As a tennis coach of over a decade now, I’ve been preaching and practicing this too. Now writing it out, I feel like I’m fully accepting it ha-ha.
It really enthralls my veins with some sort of energy… Like I’m ready to face some of the deepest, most rooted demons in my soul and come out on top as the warrior that I am.
If discomfort is growth, then it’d explain why I’ve felt so uncomfortable ever since my very first song I produced.
It’s an exciting energy to have to face!
I will always cherish this E.P. closely to my heart because it is such a powerful symbol of how far I’ve come and how far I’ve got to go.
Stay tuned for more updates on my Instagram, you won’t want to miss them.
This isn't just an E.P.; it's the sound of my journey, played out in chords and melodies, taking all of us from dystopia to utopia, one track at a time.
Just like I’m a very complex and unique person, this project is rather complex and unique.
I hope that you resonate with the message of growth and perseverance and can translate it into your own life as a motivator.
Let this E.P. serve as a reminder to us all that we are experiencing what it’s like to be human, together, and that we can all get through this, together!
Thank you for joining me on this wild ride, and until next time,
Dossas
